


The Safety of Running

by cadkitten



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Anchors, Angst, Choking, M/M, Other, Running
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 17:03:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19795195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: He sat in the darkness and he felt the air as an oppression, felt the weight of gravity as if it were trying to steal his very last breath from him.





	The Safety of Running

**Author's Note:**

> For Andreil Week 2019 - Day 7: "I don't need your help."  
> This may have very unintentionally come off as more Andrew/Neil/Kevin, though that's not at all what I intended. Apparently friendship sometimes bridges the line between and this one definitely hedges into that territory.   
> Listening to: One Thought Away - Asher Angel

Neil shifted forward on the bench, shoes scuffing over the concrete beneath him, his hands gripping the metal seat as he leaned forward. The whole stadium was dark, not even the emergency lights on, and Neil thought this was one of the few ways he felt safe these days. It was here in the pitch black with the knowledge that no one else was around or it was pressed to a wall with Andrew's body behind him, regardless of the reason. 

He knew he shouldn't be here, shouldn't be stationary for as long as he was, but he also knew how he felt in Andrew's presence and how he felt when he was playing Exy. He knew what his dreams had always been and he understood he was living it and walking away wasn't a thing he could do any longer. Running just wasn't in his cards anymore, no matter how close he kept his running shoes and no matter how often he woke in the middle of the night with the burning desire to act on the age old need that burned in the pit of his stomach. Nicky called it itchy feet. Aaron just called him a loser. Andrew... well, Andrew didn't _call_ it anything, but he certainly made his opinion known in other ways. The only one that seemed to truly understand was Kevin.

Kevin would be there sometimes in the mornings when Neil had to run around the campus to stop himself from running further. He'd stand there silently in the kitchen, holding his mug and watching, but never judging. There was this heaviness to his gaze that forced Neil to understand that Kevin felt this desire, even if it wasn't as potent as his own was. He'd leave and he'd run and when he'd come back, Kevin would be washing his mug in the sink, as though only just done, though Neil privately felt it was planned, his steps listened for before Kevin was done with this morning ritual that just happened to involve making sure Neil came back.

The days he took longer, Andrew would find him later in the night and he'd hold him somewhere until he couldn't move, couldn't breathe, and then he'd sigh against his shoulder and release him to fly free again. In it's own odd way, it was a comfort just as much as letting his feet run the same path around campus was. 

Now, he sat in the darkness and he felt the air as an oppression, felt the weight of gravity as if it were trying to steal his very last breath from him. He felt the sting of tears held back and the unbearable pressure that told him to give up, to leave, to run like a vice around his throat. He felt like he'd lost all his fight, all his ability to stay still. He could already feel the pound of pavement beneath his feet and this place disappearing behind his back.

The door at the far end of the stadium opened and his head snapped up to watch two figures darken the doorway. Everything in him crawled, told him of unspeakable danger, told him this was it and he was done and every escape route he'd ever made were about to be enacted. He told himself he had to stay while his body screamed that he was screwed. 

A shudder ran through him at the sound of Kevin's voice coming toward him, something that felt both like icy fingers of dread and yet relief spilling through his body. Even as Kevin bee-lined for him, he inherently knew Andrew was tracking along the edges of the stadium to come up directly in the way of his best escape route. It should have prickled his nerves, should have left him angry and itching for a fight, but instead it left him sagging in relief. Relief of being caught and relief of not having to fight himself today.

Kevin stopped in front of him and before he could say a word directly to him, Neil opened his mouth and spit out the only thing he had left as a barrier. "I don't need your help." He watched the array of emotions play out over Kevin's face, only lit by the still-open door they'd come through. 

Andrew's presence pressed at his back and Neil had the sensation of being trapped against a wall, of being choked until he understood without Andrew lifting a single finger. He stared up at Kevin, defiance still brewing in his veins and he opened his mouth to spit out something else to make them leave, but the words died on his tongue as Andrew's hand wrapped around his neck, holding, not even choking, his fingers an insistent pressure but nothing that could have been deemed forceful. Still it took his breath away, stole his fight and threw it on the ground at their feet and as Andrew's warm body pressed to his back, Neil swore he watched his fight get trampled on the floor in front of him.

He sagged in Andrew's hold and all his tension drained away, leaving him feeling exhausted and tired in a way he hadn't been since Rico. Kevin knelt in front of him and just pursed his lips, staring up into his eyes and Andrew's fingers tightened a fraction - _possessive_ against his skin. Neil leaned into Andrew's touch, closed his eyes and let the world exist however it would now that he was trapped within the only safety net he'd ever known. 

His mind tumbled over the edge into the lurid places it only went when Andrew grew this forceful with his presence and not for the first time Neil wondered if perhaps something inside him truly was more of a masochist than he'd ever be willing to admit. He let the jumble of thoughts tangle around in his head until Kevin's shoe shifted on the floor and Neil opened his eyes, watching him push himself to a standing position again. He watched he hesitant way Kevin held his hand out to him and he felt Andrew's fingers spasm and despite the safety in that hand, Neil didn't reach for it. Instead, he pressed into Andrew's hand until he let him go, stood and stuffed his hands in his hoodie pockets, shrugging by way of informational purposes and let them cage him in to guide him from the stadium and the after hours darkness, away from his ledge and away from all the monster's in his closet. 

It was nights like this that Neil thought that, perhaps, he'd made the right decision.


End file.
